What I’ve Learned in my First 6 Months of Marriage

Amanda & Thad Ritz Wedding

We just had our six month wedding anniversary and I honestly cannot believe how quickly time has passed.

A brief history: Within our first six months of dating, Thad sold his house, left his job in Connecticut and moved to Florida to pursue a future with me.  Those first six months felt like a lifetime compared to our first six months of marriage.

Even though it has only been six months since saying “I do” we have learned quite a bit.

  1. The First year is the hardest?  We are half way through our first year and still waiting for the day we fall into this category.  Maybe it’s because our mind set is that we are a team and stronger together than we would have ever been apart. I’m not saying it has been all gum drops and rainbows either.  Thad’s move to Florida was very straining and difficult on our relationship at times.  I was the only family he had, he started a new job…and let’s be honest, my family isn’t the easiest bunch to swallow (talk about culture shock).  I honestly believe this made us a stronger couple before we got married.  Stress, fear, and uncertainty made us very vulnerable to one another early in our relationship.  We learned how to cope, deal with one another’s stresses and rely on each other for support and comfort.  So now that we’re married our bond has become even stronger.  He’s my teammate in this game of life.
  2. No money, more problems?  Three months before our wedding I lost my job due to corporate restructuring and realignments.  Talk about mental breakdown.  I’m a very determined, driven, and career oriented woman so I did not know how to handle this situation.  We had so many things for the wedding we still had to pay off.  I was okay with spending the money at first because I had a job, a really really good job as a matter of fact.  The wedding came and went and our bank account was hemorrhaging.  We were scared.  After crunching numbers and counting pennies, we soon came to the realization that we were successful once before and we could do it again.  Instead of living in fear and scared of the what ifs, we made the best of it.  I can honestly say this is the most broke I have ever been, but it’s also the happiest I have ever been.  We’re healthy, our family is healthy, and we have a roof over our head.  One day we’ll look back and say…”Remember when…?  Those were the best memories.”  …I guess less really is more.
  3. “When are you going to have a baby?!”  I’ve definitely learned this is the first question everyone will ask you after they find out you’re a newlywed.  Yes, I admit it… I have baby fever and so does Thad, and generally first comes marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage, but we would also like to enjoy being married for a little while too!  Coming from a Latin household, we have very old school/strict rules.  One in particular…no cohabitation before marriage.  Thad and I never lived together before marriage and we’re having a lot of fun…just the two of us.  I can’t wait to be a mommy, but I’m enjoying being a wife for now.
  4. Changing your name is a pain in the butt! Before Thad even proposed I was practicing signing his last name as my own (just to see what it would look like if we were ever to get married...come on, every girl does this! lol)  Seriously though, there are so many forms to fill out and lines to wait in.  It was sad to let go of Castillo, but this is a new journey I’m very excited about!
  5. Learning to love your partner the way they need to be loved.  This is understanding your partner’s love language.  In the 5 love languages you are more dominant in one over the others (Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time & Physical Touch).  Thad is physical touch and words of affirmation.  I have learned that giving Thad kisses/ holding his hand and telling him how much I appreciate him goes a long way.  I love words of affirmation and quality time.  Thad has learned that telling me I look pretty and sitting at the table while I cook dinner makes me happy and feel loved.  Being aware of how your partner feels loved goes a long way.  Generally, we check in regularly throughout the day to see how each other is doing.  If Thad is having a rough day at work I know how his mood will be when he gets home and try to respect it.  It is still a learning process but compromise goes a long way.
  6. We’re one but we’re also two.  I have struggled a little more with this than Thad has.  I…again…am “quality time”.  Thad is okay with doing things alone.  I grew up in a very “quality time” household and I love doing everything with him!  He needs his “me” time.  He likes his time alone to think and recharge.  I just recently went on a girls trip to Vegas and enjoyed my time so much! It was fun and refreshing to be my own person for the weekend!  It was just enough time to miss my husband and have a warm welcome home.  Although we are two becoming one.  We are still two different people and it is important to take time for yourself to re-charge and enjoy the things you love to do.

Being married is one of the best things I have experienced in my life.  To know that this man has my back and I have his, is a wonderful feeling.  It’s a giant world out there and so much to overcome, but knowing I have him by my side makes life that much more exciting.  I can’t wait to see what’s in store!!! We have only just begun.

Until Next Time!

XOXO,

Amanda!

 

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