Marriage After Baby – a very vulnerable post

Amanda & Thad Ritz Wedding

First off I would like to say I hit the jack pot when I married Thad (he would say the same about me 😉 LOL).  We have a wonderful marriage and he’s an amazing father. But…a baby changes everything.  I’m writing this because no one really prepared me for marriage after baby.  All we kept hearing was that “a baby changes everything”.  I guess you really don’t know until you go through it.

I didn’t suffer from postpartum depression but I did experience the baby blues.  I was so in love with London and ecstatic she was finally here…but my hormones were all over the board.  One moment I was super happy, the next I was crying or completely out of it.  You see, I couldn’t communicate what I was going through and I think thats where things got sticky.

I was exhausted and I was in pain.  I had just gone through what felt like “hell”.  I was in labor for 24 hours and had to have an emergency c-section.  I carried London for 10 months and after you give birth it’s only just begun.

I was very fortunate to have my mother stay with us for a week after the baby arrived.  She cooked, cleaned, did laundry and all we had to worry about was loving London.  When the time came for her to finally get back to her own reality, that’s when the shock sunk in.

“I have no idea what I’m doing”…the thought that went through my mind.  I expected Thad to pick up where my mom left off.  I didn’t want to do anything.  I wanted to sit down and hold my baby forever.  I knew my days at home with her were numbered.  I feel like Thad felt alone in all of this.  His family hadn’t been down to see the baby yet and our house was a revolving door of just my side of the family.  He would pick up after me and cater to the guests.  He was also going to work everyday.  Thad needed my support and I needed him.  The lack of communication in our house went on for two weeks.  We were snappy with each other and didn’t understand why we felt the way we did.  A lot of it had to do with extreme exhaustion. We couldn’t take it out on the baby so we took it out on each other.

The day finally came when we just let it all out.  There was a moment where we weren’t being nice at all.  After about 20 minutes we finally started to be rational.  At the end of our conversation I came to the conclusion…at that moment in time, I couldn’t be the partner that he needed me to be.  I couldn’t understand my hormones and what I would be feeling on any given day.  From that moment on is when my husband became Super Man.  He kicked it into high gear.  He did my part and his part.  I feel terrible writing all of this because it makes me feel like I was a lazy wife.  For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  He was there for me.

Now that I have gone back to work we have a daily routine.  London goes down around 7p.m. and we have the rest of the night for alone time.  I know the schedule will eventually change, but finding the time for one another and nurturing our marriage has made for a happy household.  We don’t go on date nights too often but we make the most of the time we have.  I love that man so much. Life is so good.

 

Until Next Time,

XOXO,

Amanda

 

***Postpartum depression is not something to brush under the rug. You’re not alone and do not feel ashamed, —-> here is a link to get help .

4 thoughts on “Marriage After Baby – a very vulnerable post

  1. YESSSS. I wrote a blog about this too! A baby changes everything but until you go through it, it’s hard to know what “everything” truly entails. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing!

  2. Hi Mimi, your mommy here. I had no idea,…. Every time I went over, all seemed ok. Funny thing tho, you two were doing such a wonderful job that I felt my work is done here and wanted to give you two your space. Now looking back, when I did visit, with tears in your eyes you would say, ” mommy don’t leave me.” Makes me sad and now I have tears. Marriage is complicated in itself and having a baby does change everything, but for the better . Wait until the other 4 kids come into the picture. You’ll be a pro and London will be the best role model of a big sister
    I ❤️ You Mimi and am super proud of all your accomplishments, but baby London takes the prize.💋💋💋💋🙏🏼🙏🏼

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